


Claws

by 7Fanfer7



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Crushes, Fear, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Fanfer7/pseuds/7Fanfer7
Summary: Zeb catches on that Kallus is scared of him for some reason.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	1. Scratching the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> Also this one has a PLANNED CHAPTER TWO in case you're livid I keep posting single chapters or haven't updated my series (my bad)

Zeb had been formulating and collecting his suspicions over the last several weeks. Bit by bit, he’d been observing, both from afar and up close, to solve the mystery he’d become so fixated on. He’d gone through such a phase of snooping and observation he didn't think he was capable of. He’d become such an avid investigator he’d surprised himself. Zeb had been peeking around corners, trying to hear conversations through doorways, and watching tiny queues and quirks to figure his friend out. 

Kallus was afraid of something, and at this point, Zeb suspected it had something to do with himself. After his first round of observations, his first thought was simply that Kallus was just xenophobic, that he was just uncomfortable around non-humans. As much as the thought saddened and annoyed Zeb, he had found it somewhat of a plausible answer, if only at first. He was shocked when started to watch Kallus around the base without the man knowing, only to find out that Kallus didn’t seem the least bit jumpy in the presence of other non-humans. This conclusion was jarring and frustrated Zeb to no end, having caused another blow of disappointment with his friend, as well as for him to double down on his investigative efforts.

His friendship with Kallus had a rocky start with their arrival on Yavin-4. Zeb had taken a personal interest in the man, and for the first time in a long time, decided he wanted to make a new friend. Zeb wasn’t sure whether it was a hunch or instinct that told him that he and Kallus, deep down, were strikingly similar people. Without another familiar face on the rebel base, the ex-imperial clung to Zeb’s offered friendship. As they became more familiar, Zeb began to pick up on the man’s uneasiness around him, and found he was incredibly driven to find and fix whatever was making the man uncomfortable around him. It hadn’t completely dawned on Zeb the lengths he was going to for the man, or how deep his own attachment to Kallus and their relationship had become. 

Luckily Zeb had narrowed his search down. At first he suspected it may have been his sharp teeth and his occasional habit of letting out a low growl when he spoke. After several tests and several odd looks from Kallus, it was back to the drawing board. His last plausible theory was that Kallus was, for some reasons unknown, scared of Zeb’s claws. He thought of how he’d recently noticed how Kallus scanned him while they relaxed together after work, and felt a slight pang of disappointment at the idea that Kallus was simply observing him out of caution rather than camaraderie or affection. Zeb hadn’t begun to formulate why he felt the way he did, and why he even cared if Kallus reciprocated his mysterious attraction. He was, however, very close to solving his mystery of why Kallus was so on edge. He noticed the man paid special attention to his hands, and very possibly, his claws. Zeb thought their evening sabacc game with Rex on the  _ Ghost _ was the perfect time to put his idea to the test. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed. Zeb saw Kallus visibly flinch as he clicked his claws together, reflexively moving them as he chatted with Rex. They had finished their games together, and Rex was laughing with Zeb as he recounted his day with a new recruit of a mechanic. Zeb glanced over in his peripheral, and instead of making eye contact, Kallus seemed to be fixated on the clicking of his claws. With a quick look to see his face, Zeb gathered another bit of evidence to support his theory. Kallus had been unaware that Zeb had even glanced over at him, and seemed entirely fixated on Zeb’s fidgeting hands. Zeb didn’t have to be any sort of expert to know the uneasy expression on Kallus’s face was not one of curiosity, but of fear. 

_ Ah, so that’s it,  _ Zeb thought.  _ All this acting weird around me, and he’s actually afraid. But why the claws? _ He wondered as he focused his attention back to Rex. Zeb was ready to get their conversation concluded and was now doubly determined to figure out this mystery with Kallus. 

Rex yawned and looked around the room with a tired gaze. He looked from Kallus to Zeb a sleepy smile, and after a few seconds, he thanked the two for the night of sabacc.

“G’night boys, i’ll see you both around base.” Rex yawned again. 

Kallus and Zeb waved their goodbyes. “Night!” offered Zeb cheerfully

“Goodnight, Rex. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kallus said plainly as he stopped fiddling with the sabacc cards he was sorting and shuffling. 

After Rex had gone, Zeb looked down to focus his attention on Kallus. The man looked back at him, a neutral expression of neither fear, nor the happiness that sometimes appeared that Zeb had grown to appreciate. 

“Can I sit down?” Zeb asked as he nodded to the space next to Kallus.

“Oh, yes,” Kallus said hastily and moved to make room for his friend at the table.

Zeb slid up next to his friend, appreciating the sudden closeness to the man he’d come to know as a fellow rebel and companion, and he laid his hand nonchalantly on the table as he looked at Kallus. He wore a different expression now. Something even more rare than his unfettered joy. Something Zeb had yet to identify, as it only appeared when they were pushed in close proximity such as this. 

Kallus avoided Zeb’s eyes, and Zeb looked at him smugly before proceeding with his investigation. 

“Hey.” Zeb said and waited for Kallus to look up to him. 

As their eyes met, Zeb nodded casually and obviously to the table and hand resting on top. Right as Kallus looked at his hand, Zeb quickly extended his claws with a flash, making no noise and or sudden movements aside from the flexing of his arm. 

Kallus gasped suddenly and flinched with such force that Zeb could feel it on the seat they were sharing. His eyes snapped back to Zeb and Zeb saw that they were wide with fear, and his breathing was quick and shallow. Zeb felt something foreboding and swallowed as he watched Kallus breathing heavily in front of him. After several seconds Kallus calmed down slightly, and Zeb wondered if he’d been too forward, if he’d crossed a boundary. As the initial shock wore off Kallus finally made conscious eye contact, and his face fell as he realized the emotions he’d betrayed. 

He looked up to Zeb, but before he could say anything, Zeb finally asked for his answer. 

“Are you,” he asked slowly before pausing, ears folding down in uncertainty “afraid of me?” He was suddenly self conscious of the situation he’d created, and he almost couldn’t bear to hear the response from the shaking man in front of him.

Kallus looked back 

“Zeb, no,” He said with a quiet tone of conviction. 

“Okay.” Zeb’s ears perked up and he looked away for a moment “So, uh, what is it, then?” 

“I have an aversion to sharp things. Claws happen to be very sharp.”

“That’s it?” Zeb shot back incredulously.

Kallus averted his eyes “Not exactly.”

“Well then what is it?” Zeb asked. Did something happen?” He begged Kallus for the truth. The pleading in his large green eyes caught Kallus off guard, and managed to sway him.

“Zeb, I-” He struggled to find his words. Kallus wanted nothing more than to tell Zeb the truth, but the fear that was creeping up inside him was a new kind of fear, undealt with. It threatened to overwhelm him, but the searching and wanting look in Zeb’s eye brought him resolve. He looked back and took a deep breath. “I could show you, if you want,” he said clearly and seriously.

The surprise in Zeb’s green eyes only heightened. “Okay,” he said, dumbfounded. 

Kallus looked around the room quickly. There seemed to be no trace of fear left within him. Zeb continued to stare, transfixed at the sudden change that had come over the man. “Just not here, it’s a little personal.” He said urgently, and casually gestured by rubbing a hand on his side.

It clicked then for Zeb.  _ Oh Ashla that would make sense. An injury! I should have known! _ He chastised himself before realizing Kallus was looking at him expectantly. He rose from his seat quickly. “Oh right, my room’s just around the corner.” He pointed with a thumb over his shoulder. 

The mood had abruptly changed and Zeb was unsure what was to happen next or how he would feel about it. He was happy Kallus didn’t look racked with fear as he did a minute ago, but his friends' casual indifference and confidence was putting him on edge. He mused at how the tables seemingly had turned as Kallus rose from his seat to move past him to his quarters on the  _ Ghost.  _ Zeb followed lamely, realizing for the second time tonight he was worried he may have regretted his actions, but this time for different reasons. They reached the room and Zeb was terrified at what would be revealed. He’d be unfazed by any physical injury Kallus would show him, but as the door slid closed behind him, it registered that their relationship would be distinctly different once they exited. 

“Alex, you don’t have to prove anything to me.” He whispered. “You don’t have to show me. It’s not a big deal-”

“Zeb, just let me do this, alright?” Kallus’s stern voice cut through Zeb’s. “You wanted to know, and I actually feel ok showing you this.”

Zeb was more curious than uncomfortable, and part of Kallus’s confidence made him feel reassured that their relationship may leave the end of the evening wholly undamaged. He watched in anticipation as Kallus removed his vest and placed it softly on the table in his room. Zeb’s pulse quickened, and he inhaled sharply with a feeling of unknown suspense. The intimacy of their situation, with Kallus undressing before him, registered in the form of quick breath and wide eyes. Kallus wasted no time and quickly tugged his shirt up and over his arms in one motion, leaving it on top of his now familiar vest. 

Zeb didn’t wince, but his eyes did furrow in sympathy for the man’s past pain. Zeb’s eyes traced over the multitude of scars over his friend’s body. The scars of painful lacerations collected on his sides, and on his left side, faded pink and white scars of what looked to be a severely painful and serious mutilation. Zeb looked over the precise markings around the scars and followed the claw marks that created them. He looked from the parallel gashes that raked his friends' side and thought of how sharp the claws must have been to create such pristine slashes. He glanced at Kallus’s side while the man stood stoic and silent, and the horrific realization hit him. 

“Those aren’t just claws,” Zeb whimpered as his ears drooped. Kallus stood stoically and unmoving in front of him, but this time it wasn’t enough to keep Zeb completely together. “Those are lasat claws,” he said as he put a large hand up to cover his face and mouth. Emotions threatened to overwhelm Zeb as he grasped his mouth and made eye contact with Kallus, who had a soft but cold look in his eyes as he watched Zeb react. Zeb continued to look at the pristine scars on Kallus’s torso, and as he did a deep level of caring he didn’t know he had for the man bubbled to the surface. Their relationship had been the most complicated relationship Zeb had ever had in his life. From Lasan to Bahryn, and now to the growing start of the rebellion on Yavin-4, Zeb felt overwhelmed with this added layer of complexity, to a relationship that he sometimes wished was just a simple friendship. He glanced from scars and back to Kallus, who had fallen to a forlorn stare at the ground at Zeb’s feet.

“I’m sorry,” He muttered, missing his previous confidence. 

Something protective worked its way around in Zeb’s head “For what? I’m the one who should be sorry, scaring you like that,” He said as he rubbed his neck, both men avoiding the other’s gaze. 

“You didn’t know.” 

“I knew it was the claws, or something. I didn’t know it was that bad”

“Zeb.” As Kallus said his name softly, the tension and pressure in the room began to subside

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you uncomfortable.” Zeb apologized again, straightening himself and standing tall.

“Me too. It’s been something I've been trying to work on. But i’m not there yet, as you can tell.”

“What do you mean?” Zeb’s ears flicked with curiosity. 

Kallus shuffled as he tried to work up some courage.“I want to be around you Zeb,” He said softly. “You’re my only real friend here, you know. I’ve been trying to work at being less-” he paused and looked up to Zeb sadly, “less afraid.”

“I never knew it was that bad,” Zeb whispered back.

“Well I didn’t exactly want you to know.”

“Well,” Zeb said clearly, ruminating on how now knew, exactly. He pushed the immediate thought of sadness that Kallus would hide from him away, and quickly acknowledged how complicated this must be for Kallus. The two shared a solm look between each other.

Kallus’s gaze had fallen again, and he was rubbing his side distractedly. “It’s mostly just reflex. I don’t really have flashbacks anymore or anything of the sort. It’s just kind of an irrational fear now.” 

Zeb held out a hand and studied it over. “Just the claws huh?” he said and he turned them over. “You were scared too then? Back on that ice moon?” 

“Of course.” Kallus smiled weakly. “We weren’t exactly friends. Not to mention we didn’t even know what else we were out there with.”

“Oh so you  _ are _ afraid of the dark?” Zeb teased with a grin, trying to bring the mood up.

“Garazeb.” 

Zeb flushed under his fur at hearing his full name. It was the fact that Kallus had said his full name, but the tone he uttered it with. Absent of any defensiveness, he whispered Zeb’s name softly and playfully. With Kallus’s gaze averted to the floor with a bashful and far off stare, Zeb looked the shirtless man over again. He’d never seen scars inflicted by lasat claws on human skin before, but that wasn’t what captivated him as he got a shameless look of the man under the clean light of his bedroom. The skin of Kallus’s torso that wasn’t marred by the stripes of scars caught Zeb’s attention. His pale skin was covered in a dusting of tan speckles that drew and captivated Zeb. 

_ Those are freckles. I think those are freckles, _ he pondered to himself.  _ I knew humans could have markings like that but I never knew they looked like this, or thought Kallus would have them, have them and all-  _

He realized suddenly how different Kallus looked from any other human he’d seen before. He didn’t have an extensive list of human men he’d observed without shirts before, but Alexsandr Kallus was drastically different from what he’d seen, and what he’d expected. As Zeb looked over the man’s freckles, he noticed the light dusting of light brown hair that covered his pectorals and torso. He vaguely took note of how toned Kallus’s chest was as he followed the light brown fur down his chest and to his perfectly muscled abs. He followed the line of fur to Kallus’s waist and saw how briefly thickened before disappearing into his pants. Zeb swallowed quickly and nervously. 

Something clicked in his brain and he shook his head, suddenly very aware of how long he’d been staring at his friend's body and how far his eyes had wandered. Kallus had looked up from the floor and was now looking at Zeb expectantly. Their eyes met and Zeb looked away. 

“I didn’t realize.” Zeb mumbled, giving a poster on the side wall a careful inspection

“Huh? Realize what?” He heard Kallus ask, surprised.

“That humans could be so speckly, or have fur like that.” He gestured vaguely, unsure of why he felt the pressing need to verbalize that thought. He looked up to see Kallus studying him and looking thoroughly confused. 

“Have? Wha- oh.” It dawned on Kallus as he looked down and his own freckled torso. “What? Really?” He let out an amused laugh that melted some of the awkwardness between them. 

  
Zeb thought to pout for a moment at the man’s brazen laughter, but found himself smiling instead. “Well yeah,” He chuckled nervously, “I’ve never seen anything like that.” he gestured at Kallus’s exposed figure. 

Kallus gave his own body another inspection. “Well I suppose it’s not incredibly common, but I wouldn’t say it’s rare either,” He remarked while placing a hand on his middle.

The door behind Zeb swished open, Causing Zeb’s fur to prickle on end. With a startled jump he turned around to see a dumbfounded Ezra standing in the doorway. 

“What the-” Ezra muttered. 

“Ezra!” Zeb yelped. 

“Zeb!” Ezra shot back as he glanced around and got a look at the rest of the room, and Kallus, who was anxiously grabbing his shirt to cover himself. Ezra glanced back and Zeb with cautious confusion. “What are you doing? Why is Kallus here? And why is his shirt off?” Ezra fired off without hesitation.

Before Zeb could speak, Kallus answered from behind him. 

“I was just showing Zeb an old war injury,” He said with a friendly tone, while tugging on his tan undershirt “No big deal.”

“Right.” Ezra glared suspiciously from Zeb to Kallus. 

“Before I left,” Kallus finished, “It’s getting late.” He threw his vest over himself in a swift decisive movement and walked towards the awestruck brothers in the doorway.

Zeb stood in the doorway, transfixed with Kallus. As he walked up to him and Ezra with an amused grin on his face, Zeb’s pulse quickened again. He was amazed at the rapid shift in confidence. He realized as Kallus rubbed past him with a soft pat on his shoulder, he much preferred the cool and collected side of him, and would much rather see that than the eyes full of fear he had seen earlier.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Zeb” Kallus said as the door swooshed opened, “And i’ll see you around, Jabba.” He nodded slyly at Ezra.

He looked back at Zeb one more time, who stared back and gave him a small and shy wave. “Night,” He muttered back, still captivated by Kallus and his smooth shift in attitude. 

After a moment, the door closed in front of him, and Zeb was vaguely aware that Ezra was still standing in the room with him. He looked over at his roommate who was glaring at him with a look of curious scrutiny. He glared back. 

“What?” Zeb asked with defensive hostility. 

Ezra's face relaxed at the challenge, and he shrugged with indifference. “Nothing. He’s telling the truth,” Ezra said nonchalantly. 

“Ezra!” Zeb growled, and shook a finger at his brother. “Kannan told you not to do that!”

“Well I don't know,” Ezra objected, throwing his hands up. “maybe he’s still an imperial spy.” 

“You know that isn't true!” Zeb barked back.

Ezra lowered his arms and crossed them to glare at Zeb again. “What were you two doing here anyway? Was he really just showing you those scars?” He winced slightly. “they looked bad.” 

“Yes! What else would it be?”

“I dunno, you’re acting weird though.” 

The two looked at each other with their usual argumentative disdain that popped up between siblings from time to time. Zeb furrowed his brow to try to intimidate his brother, while Ezra starred back with curiosity. Zeb let out a huff of defeat. “Whatever,” he grumbled, and slapped the door control. 

Zeb made his way to the common room and looked around in the dull light. Kallus was gone, but some irrational part expected, or maybe hoped, for him to be standing there waiting. Zeb shook the thought and flopped down at their table. He sat and threw his legs up on it and he squinted at the ceiling, his mind wandered over the events of the evening. As much as he wanted to congratulate himself for following through on his investigation, his interaction with Kallus seemed to have left him with more grim curiosity than a feeling of wholesome satisfaction. 

Zeb grabbed at the sabacc cards that Kallus had set neatly on the table. Although he hadn’t shown any signs, he still hoped Kallus wasn’t upset over his clumsy and straightforward approach to communication. His nerves calmed from the adrenaline of his argument with Ezra and he sighed with a bit of tense worry. The two of them had many unsaid conversations, and a lot of strangely and indirectly interlaced history. It seemed to Zeb, that the list of things they should probably talk about was only growing larger instead of smaller. He thumbed through the cards absentmindedly in the low light, trying to finish calming himself down.

Zeb smiled to himself as he noticed that the sabacc cards had been methodically sorted. 


	2. Chapter 2

  
  


_ It was sunny out, and beautiful. The sky looked unnaturally pristine above Yavin-4. Zeb was standing in the clear glow of the sun and Kallus noticed how the crisp shine reflected off his soft purple fur. Zeb was smiling. Kallus couldn’t remember how they got where they were as they stood in front of a Massassi temple that he didn’t recognize. Zeb was walking along the front of the temple on a rough but clear pathway and Kallus hurried to follow him.  _ _ Zeb rounded the corner of the temple, but when Kallus caught up and looked around the corner, he was nowhere to be seen. _ _ The dense undergrowth of Yavin-4 seemed different. The esoteric mist of dreams swirled around him  _ _ and his vision blurred. He couldn't remember where he was or what he was doing." _

  


_ The smoke and dust obscured the scenery around him, but unfortunately Kallus remembered where this was and remembered how much he abhorred being back here. He remembered Onderon. The primal fear and despair filled him without fail, like they always did. He heard the screaming again, accompanied by the sounds of agony and death, as always. He couldn’t speak or cry out, as always. This time, the smoke never cleared and simply hung in the air like a heavy mysterious curtain. The calm and cold anticipation of the events filled his mind. No matter how many times he remembered, or thought he was ready, he never was able to shake the fear. He heard the footsteps now, and waited. From the mist the large purple lasat stepped and wasted no time and immediately descended upon him. He saw the large purple hands, claws extended and ready to strike. Time simply slowed as he watched them approach, the razor sharp weapons dripping in his friends’ blood. _

  


Kallus turned listlessly and opened his eyes, the bright sun of Yavin-4 peering through his window. He rolled over lazily, the fading adrenaline of the dream waking him quicker than normal. As he grabbed his datapad off the table by his bed, he flicked it to see the time. He gave a small groan as he looked at glowing numbers, having woken an hour earlier than normal due to the dream. Sitting upright he grabbed the datapad and rubbed his eyes, giving up the idea of returning to sleep. Vague thoughts of the dream danced through his head. Thoughts of Onderon floated around in his mind as they usually did, but something else he dreamt about was coiled around his subconscious. For a moment he tried to make a recollection, staring through the glow of the datapad. As the seconds passed, what else he had dreamed about seemed to slip further and further away. He tossed off his blankets and decided to get an early start. Shuffling through his datapad he found a new message. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw it was from General Dodonna. 

  


**[Gen. Dodonna]** : Captain Kallus, If you could meet at the briefing room at 20:30 standard time, I would appreciate it. You’ll be briefed on your first field mission today. Thank you. 

  


Kallus typically had little trouble waking up; today it was exceptionally easy with his nightmare combined with the anticipation of an important meeting later in the day. He’d been cleared for field work and was theoretically on the list for future missions, and felt absolutely invigorated at the fact this was the first one he was going to be assigned to. As he dressed methodically, he ran a hand over his scarred side and looked at it in the mirror. Looking at the scars seemed to evoke almost no emotion whatsoever. In his mind, he had completely and efficiently separated his nightmares and the reality of his actual near death experience on Onderon. The dreams always conjured a sense of primal fear in real time he could never seem to shake. He was always scared of the swirling smoke and razor sharp claws ready to maim him, but looking in the mirror, he always realized the reality of how far in the distant past those events actually were. 

  


Perfectly compartmentalized, he threw on his vest and looked in the mirror one more time. His still mostly short but unruly hair had given him a rebellious look he’d come to appreciate lately. He looked over the smattering of small brown freckles on his nose and cheeks and grinned into the mirror, amused. He’d never seen Zeb so bashful or embarrassed, and the thought of the previous night, and the confident and rough lasat looking so shy gave Kallus a smile he couldn’t shake.

  


The door closed behind him and he walked out of the barracks, still smiling. Kallus was very satisfied with his relationship with Zeb, and was happy that, as far as Kallus could tell, Zeb seemed to enjoy their relationship just as much as he did. His amused smirk finally left when he picked through his memories of the previous night. He wasn’t sad, or angry with Zeb, or scared for their friendship, he was simply outright embarrassed. Kallus had done everything in his power to prevent Zeb from figuring out his phobic aversion to sharp claws. Still somehow, the clever lasat had got the jump on him. Kallus inwardly groaned as he thought of how downright startled and fearful he was at the table on the  _ Ghost,  _ and at how Zeb looked at him. Something inside Kallus was racked with empathy and sadness as he remembered the dejected look Zeb’d had on his face. He’d never wanted his best friend to feel upset like that, let alone because of himself. Sighing and rubbing a hand over his face as the temple housing the rebel intelligence division came into view, he wishfully thought that maybe, he could eventually figure out some way to get over his fear and put Zeb’s mind at ease.

  


With a more lax schedule at the rebel base, Kallus found he enjoyed getting an earlier start at work. Unlike the Empire with its highly structured and regimented schedule, If Kallus showed up early to the intelligence division on Yavin-4, he was permitted to leave early. 

  


Stray thoughts of his meeting later in the day flitted around in his mind as he worked, along with thoughts of a certain lasat he was looking forward to seeing. The thoughts collided in his mind and he realized his possible scheduling conflict, and reached for his datapad. He looked at it blankly for a moment, unsure of what to say to Zeb that sounded inviting and casual. Exhaling sharply as he remembered their interaction the night before, he tried to dispel the intrusive thoughts that Zeb might not want to see him today, and decided to message Zeb as casually as possible. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus** ]: Hello.

  


He thought briefly of sending something else, something more inviting, or interesting, but decided it was best to focus on his work. Before he could even look away from the datapad on his desk, however, it lit up with Zeb’s reply. 

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** : Hey 

  


Kallus was happy at the quick reply, meaning Zeb was likely available for a brief conversation. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : Are you free later? 

  


Again, without delay, Zeb’s reply was prompt.

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** : Miss me already?

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** : But yeah, why ya asking?

  


Kallus blushed as he read the message, the second one popping up in quick succession. As flippant as Zeb’s teasing felt, he craved to acknowledge it. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : I do enjoy spending time with you, yes. 

  


He eyed his own words, almost embarrassed at what he’d written. 

**[Capt. Orrelios]** : There’s a new trail by the eastern side of the temple we could walk down

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** : If you want

  


Disappointment drifted through Kallus momentarily as he saw Zeb had moved the conversation along and effectively ignored his admission. It was easily dismissed, as instead, Zeb had moved to something almost equally as pleasant. 

**[Capt. Kallus]** : What time would work for you?

**[Capt. Orrelios]** : You sure are on top of it today. Usually you just comm me when you’re done.

  


Kallus looked at the offhanded comment for a moment before deciding on a direct approach. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : I wanted to figure it out ahead of time today. I have a mission briefing at 20:30

  


_ That sounds good,  _ He mused to himself. 

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** :Well, that might change our plans for later then   
  


Kallus stared at his datapad, feeling uneasy. Was Zeb busy with something? Or rethinking his invitation? 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : Oh, okay. Why’s that?    
  
**[Capt. Orrelios]** : Because I’ll be seeing you there :) 

  


Kallus shook his head slightly, and was unable to contain the amused smile that played over his face. He took a moment to compose himself, looking fondly at the message next to Zeb’s name. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : I see. In that case, I’ll see you at 20:30. 

  


**[Capt. Orrelios]** : We can go for the walk after.

  


Kallus beamed. The day seemed to be shaping up to be a rather good one, despite waking up to a nightmare. 

  


**[Capt. Kallus]** : Perfect.

  


The anticipation of the mission briefing made the day seem to slip away, and before he knew it, he was organizing his desk to be done for the day. The mission briefing had him in high spirits. It was partially because it meant he was trusted by the rebel alliance, and partially because the fact that Zeb would be at the briefing meant that chances he would be on the mission with him were incredibly high. 

  


The sky was somewhat overcast as he stepped out under the clouds for his short walk to high command. The warm air was blissfully pleasant even for his short walk across the tarmac, the warm wind blowing through his newly unkempt and more rebellious hairstyle. As he made it to the high command, he decided things were looking up, both his involvement in the rebellion, and his personal life and friendship with Zeb.

  


He stepped inside and spied Zeb and half of the  _ Ghost _ crew around the glowing holotable of the command center. As he walked up next to Zeb, who was with Hera and Sabine, he noticed both the Jedi were missing. Both Hera and Sabine gave him friendly nods as he approached, and Zeb, who had his back facing Kallus, noticed and turned around to see Kallus standing in front of him. The look of surprise that quickly lit up into a smile made something in Kallus’s chest squirm. Something separate from the anticipation of the mission, or of spending time with Zeb, something he couldn’t quite define. 

  


Before anyone could speak, their attention was turned by the door from the conference room opening with a woosh. General Dodonna walked slowly but deliberately to the holotable, giving the rebels across the table a sharp nod. He looked around and determined everyone that he’d summoned had arrived, and began his briefing. 

  


“We’ve received word from a trusted source that there is someone who holds highly valued Imperial intelligence on Garel. We’ve decided that you all are perfectly qualified and available to retrieve it.”

“Just us four?” Sabine looked around the briefing room.

  


“Three actually,” Said Hera next to them. “I’ll be flying. Kanan and Ezra won’t be joining this time around.” 

  


“Got it.” Sabine nodded. “Don’t want to bring the highly prized Jedi fugitives?” She laughed.

  


Hera nodded back and spoke with an amused but authoritative tone. “This is supposed to be more of a covert mission.” 

  


“Unfortunately, It isn’t as simple as landing and retrieving the data from a willing participant,” said Dodonna, grabbing their attention again. 

  


Sabine adjusted her grip on her helmet. “So what’s the twist?” she said nonchalantly. 

  


Dodonna fiddled with the holotable for a moment. “The informant who has the Imperial intelligence also happens to be a bounty hunter based in the Lothal Sector.” He pressed a button and rotating portrait of the scowling clawdite bounty hunter came into view, complete with ample physical description and affiliations underneath. 

  


“How do we know we can trust him?” Zeb asked with an inquisitive growl.

Dodonna looked to Zeb. “The information came from a trusted contact of the Rebel alliance, and the bounty hunter in question has a history of non compliance with the Empire, as well as refusing bounties put by the Empire on rebels.”

  


“Well that is better than most,” said Sabine. 

  


“Indeed,” said the general. “He’s offered a trade for a substantial sum of credits, which we’ll be providing.”

  


It dawned on Kallus that The  _ Ghost _ crew seemed perfectly appropriate for this sort of mission, but he realized after a moment, that he was unsure why he was being included. 

  


“Excuse me,” He said hesitantly. “I was curious  as to why I've been chosen for this mission, Sir?"

  


“Your history, mostly,” the general said matter-of-factly.

  


“It’ll be easy,” Sabine laughed beside him. 

  


Dodonna continued, with the rest of the room having drawn attention to Kallus’s question. “With your history trying to apprehend members of the underground, combined with the knowledge of Imperial presence in the Lothal sector, we thought it would be a perfect opportunity for your first bit of field work.” 

  


Kallus nodded. “I’ll be happy to help however I can.”

“You three will meet him at a discreet location in the outskirts of Garel. It’s very unlikely this is any sort of set up by the Empire, but I want your highly trained eye on anything suspicious.” As he spoke, he clicked another button on the hollotable, and a map of Garel city appeared in front of them, the location highlighted in red.

  


“Seems simple enough.” Zeb waved at the holo that was slowly rotating. 

  


For the first time since the meeting had begun, General Dodonna looked less than serious, and gave a small chuckle. “That’s what we’re hoping for. We’ll update you all if anything changes.” He paused for a moment, and stroked his chin while staring into the glowing holo of the city. “I think that’s it,” he said slowly and thoughtfully.

  


“Thank you, general,” Hera said, speaking in a loud and commanding tone. She turned to the rest of her crew. “We’re leaving at eight thirty standard. Be here by eight.” 

  


They all nodded in unison, and as Hera took a step forward towards the holotable and Sabine turned to leave, Kallus realized they’d been dismissed. Kallus looked from Sabine walking away to Zeb, who just raised his brows in amusement. He walked to Kallus and they exited the briefing room together. 

  


As the sun hit their faces, Zeb squinted and looked over to Kallus. “How about that walk, then?” 

  


“Sure.” Kallus looked back to Zeb, smiling. 

  


They made their way to the edge of the base, and Kallus slowed slightly as the light reflected off the large temples. Zeb took several steps in front of him. And Kallus was hit with a tug at his memory as he saw Zeb in front of the towering ziggurat. Something pulled in his memory, and he subconsciously attempted to recall whatever it was. His mind pulled at recent events it reminded him of, when Zeb had looked back and gestured to him while standing in front of the walls of intricate stone.

  


_ Oh, that’s right.  _ He recalled the dream he had in the morning, before the one of Onderon. He noticed the sky looked different today, more inviting. He hurried to catch up to Zeb.

  


“Everything okay?” Zeb tilted his head slightly. 

  


“Yes, everything is fine,” Kallus assured. 

  


They continued their walk at a leisurely pace, and after a minute Zeb let his arms swing casually by his side. “Well I’m excited. It’ll be good to finally get some ground action again.” 

  


“Yeah?” Kallus asked rhetorically. “I’m a bit worried, but I’m sure everything will be fine.” He paid careful attention to the stone walls and ground as they walked, ruminating on the mission. 

  


“Worried about what?” Zeb asked nonchalantly

  


Kallus shrugged without looking at Zeb. “Nothing in particular, just hoping my first official mission as a rebel goes well.” 

  


“Don’t worry, it will.” Zeb smirked. “Besides, you have me there to back you up,” he said with a comically confident grin, exposing a sharp fang. 

  


“Yeah.” Kallus smiled softly, looking back at the rough path beneath his feet. 

  


There was silence for a moment as they walked before Zeb spoke. “Thanks, by the way.” He said sheepishly beside him.

  


Kallus was surprised. “For what?” He eyed Zeb suspiciously for a moment.

  


“Opening up to me like that,” Zeb said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “I know it must have been hard.” 

  


Kallus knew Zeb was nervous. He’d learned to read his body language and had figured out shortly after their arrival on Yavin-4 that Zeb had several nervous tells, and rubbing his neck was one of them. He took a deep breath and felt rather awkward, thinking that if anyone had anything to feel bad about, it was himself. 

  


“Well it is rather embarrassing to admit. Even more so to you.” He turned to Zeb as they slowed down, and looked at him with a contemplative frown. 

  


“You don’t seem scared now,” Zeb teased, wiggling his fingers at Kallus, his claws perfectly sheathed and unseen. 

  


Kallus gave a playful scoff, happy with how quickly Zeb was able to turn the tone of the conversation. 

  


They stopped at the corner of the large Massassi temple. Usually they walked in front of the front of the temple, which was simply used for storage at this point. Zeb leaned on the corner of the large stone structure, looking at Kallus.

“How about we go this way?” Zeb suggested as he gestured to a path Kallus had never seen before. Instead of leading in front of the old massassi temple, the left side of the fork in the pathway seemed to lead to a trail around the back of the large imposing stone structure. 

  


Kallus looked up at the sky at the waning sunlight. “Are you sure?” He asked skeptically. “It’s getting somewhat late.” 

  


“Did you have somewhere to be?”

  


“No, it’s fine,” Kallus assured halfheartedly. “I, uh, just didn’t know how long you wanted to be out is all.” He said as he glanced around the newly revealed pathway. 

  


“Yeah this is a new one they’ve cleared out. wraps all the way around this temple right here,” Zeb explained while pointing, oblivious to his friend’s hesitant nervousness.

  


“Oh,” Kallus muttered. “Okay.” 

  


At Kallus’s weary approval, Zeb walked off down the rougher looking and less traveled pathway around the temple. Kallus watched him for a moment and hesitantly looked to the right side of the trail and the brightly lit rebel base in the distance. He took a deep breath and followed Zeb. 

  


The trail looked freshly cut, as Zeb had said, and Kallus attempted to enjoy the scenery of the dense jungle of Yavin-4. He tried to not pay attention to the rustling in the undergrowth of small unidentified critters, or to the fact that the sun was rapidly descending in the sky. Logically, Kallus knew that the larger predators on Yavin-4 were either aquatic, or nowhere near the base. It didn’t stop his mind, however, from imagining what large creature with sharp claws and glistening fangs could be waiting for the both of them as they walked by. 

  


Kallus was cooly silent as they walked together, the conversation abated as Zeb looked around the treetops and bushes in wonder. Kallus regained some of his level-headedness, and smiled as he watched Zeb, engrossed by the natural beauty of the planet. Silently, he cursed his luck that Zeb would suggest this walk the night after he’d come clean. He winced as he remembered how he’d been forced to reveal his irrational lingering fear of sharp claws, and Zeb’s specifically. 

It wasn’t fair to be upset, Kallus decided, and that Zeb couldn't have known he also had a fear of dark forests and the creatures clad with sharp natural weapons that lurk within.

  


_ I really am lucky. He was so understanding yesterday, _ Kallus thought as he watched his friend gaze around the treetops with a contented look on his face. _ He’s such a good friend. Going on this walk with him is the least I could do.  _

  


After a while, Kallus’s smitten thoughts were interrupted as he noticed that over the last several minutes, the sun had crested behind one of the far temples on the base, and the trail they were on had gotten distinctly darker. His determination slipped and his pulse quickened as the thoughts of unknown predators hidden in the forest invaded his thoughts again. With a half conscious choice, he stepped slightly closer to Zeb as they walked together in silence. Zeb was distracted momentarily from his view of the forest to notice Kallus walking close, looking concerned. 

  


Kallus’s nerves had gotten the better of him, and his usually perceptive self was slipping, all his observational power focused on the minute sounds and movements from the woods. As close attention as he usually paid to Zeb, he’d failed to notice the attentive glances the lasat was giving, and the twitching of his long purple ears, carefully listening. 

  


Out of the corner of his eye, Kallus caught Zeb looking in his direction again. He saw a brief flitter of some emotion over Zeb’s face, but couldn’t place it. He looked vaguely concerned and seemed distracted from their nature walk. Kallus’s heart jumped, and Zeb stopped walking and turned to him intently. 

  


“Something wrong?” Zeb asked directly.

  


Put on the spot, Kallus shrugged, trying his best at indifference.

  


“You haven’t said anything the whole time we’ve been here,” Zeb continued.

  


Kallus looked away nervously, then looked through the trees at the advancing darkness as the sun’s light slowly faded. “We should keep walking,” he said, ignoring Zeb’s comment. 

  


“Kallus, you’re acting weird.” Zeb crossed his arms. “Why do you keep looking all over the-” his eyes widened and he smirked “Stars, you  _ are _ afraid of the dark, aren’t you?” he whispered with a chuckle. 

  


Kallus scowled at his friend. “I am  _ not _ afraid of the dark. I’m just not used to being on a planet like this.” 

  


“Like what?” 

  


“With all the forests and plants and animals,” Kallus said uneasily. “And who knows what else is out there.” He waved to the forest of trees next to them. 

  


Zeb wasn’t smiling anymore and gave Kallus a confused look. “What, you don’t like any of the little critters?” 

  


“It’s not any of the little critters I'm worried about,” Kallus said with gritted teeth, attempting to keep his cool. 

  


He watched as the look on Zeb’s face changed as he came to the conclusion that he was desperately trying to hint at. At first Zeb had looked annoyed at Kallus’s impatience, but now he looked concerned, and Kallus could see the kindness and understanding coming over his expression. 

“Kal,” Zeb said softly. “There shouldn’t be anything too dangerous or this close to the base, but let’s hurry then, yeah? It’s not too far.”

  


“Please,” was all Kallus said.

  


Kallus was relieved that Zeb had been right, and after only a couple minutes, the rebel base came into view. Lights illuminated the tarmac and temples, and Kallus let out an audible sigh as they stepped in front of the large stone slab of the temple they had walked around. Zeb was leaning against the side of one of the stone walls with his arms crossed again, looking hesitant. 

  


“You alright?” He asked gruffly. 

“I’m fine.”

  


“You didn’t seem fine.” Zeb looked dejectedly at the ground. “You could’ve told me you didn’t want to go in there,” he grumbled. 

  


Kallus sighed again.“It’s not that I didn’t want to.” 

  


“It sure seemed like it,” Zeb argued.

  


Kallus could tell Zeb was annoyed. He tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, but was unsuccessful. “I said I wanted to walk with you, isn’t that enough?” He waved an arm at the pathway they’d just walked down. 

  


“No!” Zeb said loudly, “You could have at least told you how you were feeling.”

  


“What?” Kallus scoffed. The immediate confusion Zeb’s statement created in his mind had him reeling, glaring back and Zeb, unsure what he even meant by it. 

  


Zeb let out a pent up breath loud enough for Kallus to hear. “Even if you wanted to, you didn’t have to hide how you were feeling,” He said as he frustratedly waved at the forest behind them, the softening tone betraying his concern. 

  


“I- I’m just-” Kallus looked at Zeb scowling back at him, and realized the furrowed brow and stern lip and locked jaw Zeb had on his soft purple face was not one of irritated anger. Zeb's expression was one of frustrated concern. It succeeded at removing the frustrated wind that fueled Kallus. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to think I was scared, again.”

  


“But you were. At least that’s what it looked like.” 

  


It was Kallus’s turn to sigh. Zeb was right. “Yes, but I still wanted to walk that way with you, even if I was a bit apprehensive.”

  


Zeb closed the gap between them and reached out to give Kallus a comforting pat on the shoulder. What Kallus didn’t expect was for Zeb’s hand to linger as he spoke. “Kal, I appreciate it, and don’t mind being around if you’re a little bit scared. Just give me the whole story next time then, okay?”

  


Something defensive in Kallus wanted to rebel. Something about the moment was too tender and too honest, and it made Kallus feel utterly vulnerable. Zeb was comforting him in a way he’d never been comforted before, while asking something of him. Zeb simply asking him to be honest compelled him, and he wanted nothing more than to give Zeb what he’d asked for. Kallus looked at the large green eyes staring back at him and glowed with internal gratitude.

  


“Okay. Thank you,” Kallus whispered nervously, realizing his pulse has quickened, Zeb’s hand still lingering, “for being so understanding,” he finished clearly and honestly. 

  


Zeb released his hand finally and leaned back with a look of satisfaction. “Yeah, well that’s what friends are for,” Zeb said proudly.

  


It was dark over the endless forest and edges of the towering stone temples, but under the cool light of the lamps of Yavin-4, Kallus could still see the eager smile on Zeb’s face.

  


“C’mon, let’s get back.” Zeb nodded, and finally broke the stare with Kallus to start off towards the main base of towering temples.

  


Kallus felt oddly normal. The whole conversation with Zeb, as tense as it was, felt gentle and reassuring. Once his nerves and overactive imagination had calmed, he realized Zeb was waiting for him.

  


“Right.” He smiled and followed Zeb back towards the center of the base. 

  


They reached their usual junction at the and stopped to say their goodbyes. The feeling pulled at Kallus again. Unidentified as it was, he felt the pull still, to say something more than just goodbye, as if there should be something else for him to say or do, something to show Zeb he cared.

  


He realized he was scowling at Zeb’s feet and looked up. Zeb had the same worried look on his face he’d had earlier.

  


“You okay?” Zeb asked softly.

  


Kallus gave up on his pursuit of a deeper goodbye, and blinked before meeting Zeb’s eyes. 

  


“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said rotely, only half focused on Zeb. 

  


Zeb sighed. “Alright,” He said gruffly, “night, Kal.”

  


Kallus missed the brief look on Zebs face that betrayed a note of disappointment. 

  


“Goodnight,” he muttered, with a small twinge of regret, and within a few seconds he watched as Zeb disappeared towards the  _ Ghost.  _

  


  


  


  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  


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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay yearning? In chapter two of my semi slow burn fic?   
> It's more likely than you think.  
> So as it turns out, I probably won't commit to a regular schedule for this cause this took longer than I thought it would   
> Plus it's gonna be on pause while I finish up the minibang fic  
> I swear the last 20% of this fic was like fighting my ADD in a gladiatorial arena. BUT WE DID IT  
> giant shoutout to nefariosity for helping me edit <3


End file.
